Tips On How To Resolve Conflicts Effectively, Part Two
- October 13, 2009
by Joe Salama
Never attempt to resolve a conflict with someone if
you are emotionally charged. If you just spoke to them and are
irritated, angry, or upset, nearly anything that you will say
to them will hurt your chances of resolving the conflict. Cool
off, go for a walk or, even better, sleep on it. A fresh perspective
will give you time to consider the best approach to take and
enhance your ability to communicate effectively.
Never underestimate the power of respect in managing
a conflict. If you are able to demonstrate to someone (despite
that you completely disagree with them) that you understand
what they are saying, that you understand that they are trying
to do what they feel is right, and that you respect them for
doing what they feel is right, there is a far greater chance
they they will listen to you and consider your point of view.
Mutual understanding is what will bring a successful resolution,
not a token compromise.
When you confront people about problems you want resolved,
don't attack them, don't give them a piece of your mind, and
don't tell them off, because that will not get you what you
want - as much as you think they deserve it. Stay focused on
the desired outcome. Rationally persuade rather than alienate
- especially if you have to continue working with them beyond
the immediate conflict at hand.
Conflicts with some people are unavoidable. Some relationships
were never meant to be. Ideally, you should be able to spot
these disagreeable people before putting yourself at financial,
professional, or personal risk by entering into any type of
venture with them. In reality, it doesn't always work out that
way. When you are repeatedly at odds with someone you should
minimize your risk involved and avoid escalating the conflict
further. Don't let years of tradition or moments of reconciliation
keep you chained to a relationship of misery.
Don't wait until a conflict becomes unbearable to
do something about it. Too many people wait until it is too
late, thinking it is going to blow over or go away, and next
thing they know they are in court, get laid off, or are filing
for divorce. Sit down with the other party and figure out why
it is happening. Address the problem before it gets to be too
big. Choose your own outcome before one is chosen for you.
© 2010 Mediation with Joe Salama
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